Giving Your Whole Heart

The other night, after a very long day, I was putting Charlie to bed.  We did our usual routine, bath, playing with trains...it was just as it always is.  Charlie then went into is room and pointed to his light and said "night night!"  I was so happy that he actually wanted to go to sleep, no hassle.  So he climbs up into bed, we start to say prayers and the screaming broke loose. He was pointing to the door "dat, dat, dat".  Screaming and crying.  "Dat, dat, dat".  I was trying  to think of everything that would calm his crying.  I was exhausted with options.  He sat there crying, and I sat there drained and frustrated.  We finished our prayers through all the screaming, I kissed him and I left the room.  He cried even louder.

I made my way to the living room started to clean the toys the were scattered across the floor.  Not able to think clearly from Charlie's screaming.  I just gave up.  I stood up and took a large breath, regrouped myself, and asked God for some strength.  Just then I saw his favorite teddy bear laying on the floor.  That was it.  I ran to his room, gave him his bear and he just smiled at me.  "I ya ya" (I love you) he said.  He gave me a kiss and that was it.  That is all he wanted...his favorite little bear.

I left his room happy that I solved the problem, but sad that I had no idea what he was talking about before.  I had no idea what he wanted.  Was he frustrated at me for not knowing what he wanted?  Did he think I wasn't listening to him?  I felt horrible because I always want him to know I am listening.  My head at the time was just cloudy from a long day of work and not feeling very well.  But when I was able to just regroup and ask for a little guidance, I was able to listen...fully this time.

It is so easy to think we are superheros because we do so much in life.  Moms are multitasking ladies at their finest right?  But sometimes when your head is not completely in that moment, your whole heart isn't either...so how are we able to give it our all if we are not all there?

Trying very hard to get all that we have coming up accomplished, but to give each and every thing my whole heart.

Charlie